I have to admit, I'm not very proficient when it comes to webpages and the internet. I usually fumble my way around and figure things out as I go. Blogging is fairly simple, because all I have to know how to do is log in and type. You can tell that websites aren't my particular area of expertise by the rudimentary layout of this blog. I really don't even know how to get a nice, organized list going of the hundreds of entries I've written set up on the side bar somewhere. People keep telling me I need to do it. I get all sorts of reminders and requests from readers suggesting that I organize entries by topic so they can be accessed. I don't do it because when I tried once, I realized it would take lots of patience. It just seemed too tedious and I just want to write.
My blog is messy. Even I know it. I guess that's why I was surprised when I decided to suck it up and click on the little link encouraging me to "try the new blogger dashboard." The new blogger dashboard made it easy to see The Drowning Mermaid's stats. I had never looked at them before. I have always known more people than I thought were reading, but I guess I never had a very clear idea of just how many people were regularly coming here. I was a little overwhelmed, shocked, and to be honest... scared when I saw the stats today.
People from all over the world are regularly coming here to read the thoughts I store in this online journal/scrap book. I felt my stomach flip over when I realized that my words (which, let's be honest, are sometimes written in the heat of the moment) were being so widely read. I always assumed that my circle of readers was much smaller, because I don't have that many followers that I can see; and aside from the dozen or so personal e-mails, not many people comment.
I guess I just wanted to say "Thank You" to everyone who reads The Drowning Mermaid. I know that some of you read this blog because you don't like my point of view at all, but it still intimidates me to know that I could annoy someone so much that they would care to read what I have to say. I really had no idea all of you were there, staring at me. It reminds me of the time I was in the fourth grade, singing Cher songs in my bedroom, not knowing that four of my relatives were standing on the side watching me. When I saw the stats, I almost felt like deleting entries. I felt kind of embarrassed.
Thank you for coming to hang out with me on my good days, my bad days, my overly dramatic days, my incoherent days, my angry days, and thank you for putting up with the ups and downs of this sometimes way too honest account of my personal experiences and evolving opinion on life as a colonized Chamorro in the non-self governing territory of Guam.
Un Dångkolo Na Si Yu'os Ma'åse'
- Si Desiree
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